A Roll in the Hay Page 13

  “No, there’s time yet.” Babs had taken up residence in a grand old armchair. She was certainly glammed up for the occasion, in a dark green dress that put her considerable assets front and centre. Her nails were painted to match. “I’m surprised you didn’t bring Margo along for moral support.

  “Oh, she wanted to come,” Tess replied, unzipping her bag to find a change of clothes. “But in her condition, a whole day on your feet is apparently hard on the swollen-ankle front.”

  “Having a baby had to start slowing her down eventually,” Babs said. “Go on, bathroom’s through there if you want to do your quick change. It won’t be so scary out there, Doc. We’re all just going out to let our hair down.”

  By the time she was dressed, hogging the guest bathroom for as long as she thought she could get away with, Tess quite liked the look of herself. Letting her hair down—literally—offset the roundness of her face more. At least the smoky eyes with a bit of lip gloss looked like she’d done it on purpose. Margo had still had some influence, since this outfit of black ripped jeans and a sleeveless top had been her pick.

  Tess re-entered the living room to a round of applause and wolf whistles that didn’t even sound sarcastic. It was a bit of an ego boost, even as she waved away the attention. “Ready?” she asked the assembled throng that, at a glance, spanned most of the queer lady spectrum.

  There was a collective raising of glasses and bottles in answer.

  “Okay, one more drink, then we start calling for cabs, yeah?” Tess suggested.

  The collective cheer said she was on the right track.

  The pub was very nice, in fairness, and Tess could see why Joan had recommended it. Far more spacious than the Thistle, it also seemed to have been decorated at some point since the end of the Second World War. They were far from the first to arrive, and Tess was impressed that a relatively small Borders town could draw such a diverse crowd on a weekend.

  As she waited at the bar, she realised that tonight was something of an event. People had come from miles around. Tess imagined it was an alternative to plotting overnight plans in the big cities of Edinburgh and Glasgow.

  “First time?” the barmaid asked. Her hair was bubblegum pink, shaved on one side. The nametag on her shirt, Lizzie, was affixed to just about the only unripped or pinned bit of fabric.

  Tess didn’t need to look past the hotpants and fishnets to be sure there would be a beat-up pair of Doc Martens. She knew punk when she saw it. “That obvious?” Tess replied. “Mine’s a pint of bitter, and I was going to order for my friends, but they’ve already wandered off.”

  “Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it quickly enough. Just watch out for the barflies. They get here early, and they’re just looking for someone to pick up the tab. The baby dykes tend to colonise the pool table, so proceed with caution if you want a game.”

  Tess shook her head. “And if I give you my star sign, think you could pick out my soulmate while you’re at it?”

  “If I could do that at a glance, do you think I’d be back here cleaning glasses? Now, you always get a few straight-girl tourists, which is ridiculous.” Lizzie pointed to the gaggle at the door who were laughing into their cocktails. “They don’t tend to be much trouble, and it gives them a night out without being chased by men. You just here to scout the scene, or are you on the pull for real?”

  “You…don’t mess around with the questions, do you?” Tess accepted her drink and took a grateful sip. “I’m not sure yet. My new friend basically dragged me by the hair, so we’ll see.”

  “Well, enjoy. Anyone gives you trouble, you just flag me down. Most of them know better than to piss off Lizzie.”

  Tess nodded and slipped away to lose herself in the gathering crowd. She wasn’t exactly scouring for potential dates, but a few women caught her eye as she passed. She might not have had that skinny, androgynous look that always seemed to be in demand, but there were some appreciative glances at Tess that suggested a curve or two was very much in favour around here.

  And there was no shortage of sassy barmaids in the Borders, either. Tess saw Babs and Lizzie comparing notes over the bar, cracking each other up laughing in the process. All over the large venue, people were already pairing off or settling into familiar groups. The music was almost drowned out by the noise of everyone talking, probably a mercy given that it was cheesy Europop, from the little Tess could hear.

  She took a longer drink, setting up camp by one of the pillars that ran down the centre of the room. It was a perfect vantage point, one from which she could see almost everything without pulling too much attention to herself. She checked her phone as one song blended into another, and despite a lot of glances at the fresh meat, nobody seemed interesting in approaching her. Tess had a feeling she’d have to do the legwork herself.

  Great. That was going to take another drink.

  It wasn’t that hard in the end. Babs came over to rescue Tess from her lonely posturing and introduced some of the other regulars. She left Tess with a wink as she went back to chatting up an older woman at the bar, and it was actually fun to hear how people had come from all sorts of backgrounds, different jobs, and different places.

  Okay, so maybe nobody gave Tess that little thrill of first attraction, but meeting all these new people made her realise how much space there was in her life for them.

  Had she been lonely all this time without being aware of it?

  On that bleak discovery, she realised that the noise and the heat of all these bodies was getting to her. Having shrugged off her leather jacket earlier, she snagged it and headed for the back door. For a moment, she could have sworn she saw Finn, but given that they were all loved-up with Dave, it was less than likely.

  Stepping out into the car park, Tess couldn’t help wishing she still smoked. It was always useful as a way to guarantee a few minutes away from stressful situations. Unless, of course, she got cornered by some other stranger seeking a light, which often happened just as she was starting to feel more peaceful.

  At the tap on her shoulder, she turned, saying, “Sorry, I don’t…” The person seeking her attention was the last one she expected.

  “Don’t worry. I’m not asking to bum a smoke. Didn’t expect to see you here, of all people.” Susannah looked a little cold in her sleeveless blue dress, the thin belt around her waist just a sliver of gold.

  For a chivalrous moment, Tess wondered if she should offer her jacket. “Really? Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Just don’t get the Friday night meat market vibe from you. That was a compliment, I suppose?”

  “Careful, I might start thinking you really don’t hate me after all.”

  Susannah rubbed her bare arms. “I thought we’d been over that. Very insecure of you to go fishing again, Doctor.”

  “Oh, here.” Chivalry won out in the end. Tess shrugged her jacket off and slipped it over Susannah’s shoulders before she could argue. “I can handle a bit of a nip in the air. I was born to it, wasn’t I?”

  “It’s not like Cheshire is known for being a tropical paradise,” Susannah argued. “This is a nice jacket. I might not give it back.”

  “Not in a hurry to head back in, then?” Tess didn’t know quite what she was asking, but there was a charge in the air all of a sudden, one that made the fine hairs on her forearms stand up.

  “Do you know, I think I’m fine where I am.” Susannah leaned against the wall and gave Tess a small, lovely smile.

  Chapter 14

  She should not have been out here.

  Finn’s instructions were perfectly simple: go in, get a drink, and just take a look around. Susannah hadn’t managed to follow even those simple steps.

  Now she was leaning against the wall in a borrowed jacket that smelled of some light, woody perfume mingled with the unmistakable scent of good leather, and all these facts were conspiring to make her smi
le. A real cheesy, uncontrollable, cheek-muscle-stretching grin. For a while there, she’d thought her face had forgotten how.

  “You do seem fine. Where you are,” Tess finally replied.

  Was she… Oh, she was blushing all right. That fair complexion all redheads seemed to have really showed up the embarrassment too.

  “If you don’t want to head in, maybe we could go for a walk?” Tess continued. “I get the feeling this might be a popular spot for, um…”

  Susannah giggled. Actually out-loud giggled. She hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol, and yet she was strangely light-headed. “Oh yes, quite. Wouldn’t want to cramp anyone’s style. Looks like that path leads down to the river?”

  “It’s a burn, actually.” It was pleasant how Tess’s Scottish burr wrapped around the word. “Or a brook, I suppose, where you’re from.”

  “Didn’t realise vets took a linguistics course.” Susannah pushed away from the wall, leading the way to the burn. “You do keep surprising me.”

  Tess fell in step without seeming to try.

  It had been too long since Susannah did something as simple as go for a walk with another person; too often she rambled around the estate on her own.

  “How do you do that?” Tess asked. “You’re just talking about something, like the fact that I surprise you, but it always sounds like an accusation. I feel like I’ve been caught with my hand in the biscuit tin when I talk to you. Most of the time.”

  “Forgive me,” Susannah said, and It was suddenly very urgent that Tess did. “I’m out of practice.”

  “At what?”

  “You name it: talking to people normally, making a friend, being around other people. I could put it all down to grief, or a tough year in general, but the truth is I’ve always been just awful at it. Honestly, I’m much better with horses than people.”

  “I think there’s some hope for you yet.” Tess stared out over the narrow body of water. Their pace slowed to a stroll. “When we’re not sniping at each other, talking to you is actually quite pleasant. Not that I’d run around admitting that, of course. I suppose you’re used to everyone bowing and scraping as well. Can’t make it easy to go out and get hammered with people, and that’s how I used to meet new folk. Never quite worked out how to do that after uni, though.”

  “You’ve worked your charms on Babs,” Susannah replied, choosing her words carefully. “It’s not just anyone she’ll bring on a wild night out. I’m surprised she hasn’t gone after you herself.”

  “I don’t think I’m her type.” Tess opened her mouth as if to follow the thought but seemed to change her mind.

  “You never know what people do and don’t like. I know I’m an acquired taste, for instance. Even my sister-in-law seems to hate me these days, but I swear we used to get on before. I told myself grief does strange things to people. It’s only getting stranger.”

  They came to a bench overlooking the widest part of the burn. Susannah didn’t feel like sitting; her legs had miles in them yet. Instead she leaned against the back of it. A moment later, Tess followed her cue to do the same. The water trickled on behind them, like a real-life mediation scene.

  “Is that why you’re letting her get away with it?” Tess asked, her voice barely audible above the sounds of the water, the trees rustling, and the distant rumble and honks of the main road somewhere ahead of them. “Or hoping she’ll just stop it, anyway? I figured it was out of respect for your husband.”

  “Not my style,” Susannah said, and even if they never talked again, she wanted Tess to understand that much. “And in the interests of this new friendship we have, I think there’s a rumour or two worth addressing. Jimmy and I, we were a partnership, a good one. But our relationship wasn’t a romantic one. I get the feeling you’ve picked up on that.”

  Tess nodded. “I really don’t mean to pry. It’s just you’re a popular topic of conversation around Hayleith. I take a lot of it with a pinch of salt. You should do the same, if they ever talk about me.”

  “I will. I should have done more to become part of village life, I see that now. Nobody likes the snooty noblewoman up there in her ivory tower. Maybe it’s not too late, once I make some big changes around the estate. Meanwhile, attacking Robin buys me nothing and risks quite a lot. If I keep to the high road, in public at least, then I have an advantage over her.”

  “So you’re saying you don’t need someone to go round and take a hockey stick to her car?”

  “Are you volunteering?”

  “Where would I get one?” Tess asked. “You might be all jolly hockey sticks, but I went to the kind of schools where sporting equipment was banned in case it was used for weapons. That, and they couldn’t afford much of it in the first place.”

  Susannah gave a wry smile. Although her father had run out of money at regular intervals, she had always made it back to school eventually. The odd relative had paid for nice holidays too, so there had always been something to look forward to. She knew better than to patronise Tess by pretending she could relate.

  “Well, I’ll just thank you for the offer. And if I root around in my wardrobes, I might be able to find you a hockey stick, should the occasion arise. I might even have my old uniform in there too.”

  Tess turned fully around at that, her grin far more than friendly. “Tell me you’re not talking about those tiny skirts and vest tops. Because that’s really not fair.”

  “Fair?” Susannah could play dumb when it suited her. “Didn’t realise you were such a sports fan, Tess.”

  That just made her laugh. It felt pretty damn nice, actually, having the power to do that. It was certainly a lovely laugh.

  “Still, no vigilante justice for now,” Susannah continued. “I’ll get my way—because most of the time I do—and then afterwards I’ll see if I can mend some bridges. Believe it or not, I don’t actually like having people out to get me.”

  “I can see that would be exhausting.”

  “It is.” Susannah could get used to this feeling of being understood for a change. “It’s good you’re resourceful. If you really want to go fighting my battles, I’m sure you could lay your hands on something.”

  Whoops. That wasn’t intended to sound quite so flirty, but it was certainly getting a blush to rise on Tess’s cheeks again.

  This close, side-by-side, Susannah could see the light sprinkling of freckles that dusted Tess’s nose and cheekbones. She had that rarest of things: a perfect nose. Not too long or too rounded. No bumps or deviations. It’s what a surgeon would surely pick out as the default model, if such a thing existed.

  “I suppose I am good with my hands,” Tess replied, although the long pause made it seem more of a defence than a witty comeback. “Isn’t being here with me reducing your chances of meeting someone? I assume someone dragged you to the dating pool, like Babs did with me?”

  “There’s no rush.” Susannah rubbed her hands on the sides of her thighs. “This is just—what would you call it—an opening salvo. First step on a long path, that sort of thing.”

  “So, just to be absolutely clear, with you coming to a night like this and all…and not wanting to go on rumours alone, are you actually interested in dating women? Only with you being married to a man for years…”

  Well, well, well. Isn’t the good doctor getting brave? That was downright direct for her. “Like I said before, my marriage was more of an arrangement between two people who didn’t feel able to pursue…other relationships. My family was whatever the opposite of supportive is when I first got caught showing an interest in girls. Jimmy offered me a safe route away from that, and a nice comfortable life to go with it. We were happy, though.”

  For once, telling the truth about her situation didn’t feel disloyal. It felt like finally being honest after too many years of shoving it down or talking around it. “And while I’m talking openly with you about it, this hasn’t be
en public knowledge until recently. Or, at least, I haven’t confirmed it to anyone.”

  “I was just asking.” Tess held her hands up.

  They kept doing this, the thrust and parry of argument leading to surrender. For a moment, Susannah’s shoulders slumped. She was so tired. Why was she out tonight, trying to start all over again?

  “You’re quite a catch, you know,” Tess continued. “I’m surprised you made it through the bar without picking up a date.”

  “That was some impressive flattery.” Susannah said it with a smile. It took a lot of work to look like this, especially into her forties. She was used to compliments, maybe even expected them in a lot of contexts, but Tess had a way of seeming like she really meant it. “Not that you have to stop.”

  “Susannah, I—”

  It was just a kiss. Susannah decided to do it in the same split second as actually pressing her lips to Tess’s. There was no plan, no premeditation at all beyond avoiding another tricky conversation. It could have been ridiculous, a mistimed gesture that had Tess backing away or laughing in her face. Instead, Susannah found herself being kissed back in that spine-tingling way when two instinctive kissers find themselves suddenly aligned.

  There was a momentary clash of noses, a mutual adjustment of angles to line their mouths up right, but the soft, insistent pressure of each overlapping kiss was as constant as it was delicious.

  “Wow.” Tess had her eyes closed when she finally leaned away. It took her a moment to open them. “Of all the things I expected tonight…”

  “Maybe it was my turn to be surprising. You’re pretty good at that too. If you’re keeping any kind of score.”

  “I really want to do that again.” Tess started to lean in.

  Susannah was all for it, but just as she moved to repeat that very pleasant experience, she caught sight of someone on the path. It was no reason to stop; she knew that even as she froze.